Boy do I feel awful, I should be fired. I might be fired if I have another day like today; maybe I’ll even quit. I work for a small research facility that got their hands on one of those supercomputers. I’m an “Internal Operations Technician,” which actually means I operate the “On/Off” switches for several hundred panels. Having the switches toggled a certain way determines how the computer operates. The machine requires nearly a hundred of us, and flipping each switch at precisely the right moment is not a task that can be taken lightly or with any ease.

The scientists work on complex mathmatical equations and run them through the supercomputer with different configurations of paths. If they want a particular junction to switch from being on to off, a small light next to the switch lights up. It’s then our job to flip the switch, which then turns the light off. It seems like it wouldn’t be a problem, but some days the lights are going on and off so fast, and the lights are sometimes closer to the wrong switch … it can be a nightmare.

Today was one of the biggest catastrophes I’ve ever seen. The scientists were running an experiment with some dangerous chemical and running data through the supercomputer to determine how to handle the heat or corrosiveness of the chemical as it changed over the course of the experiment. If the results came back that the chemical was too dangerous, they would have to shut down the experiment immediately; no pressure, right?

Well I went into sort of a trance I guess, and totally missed 10 or 12 bit flips. Screwed up some AND gates, an OR gate or two and several packets of data along the way. They scientists got back the data that the chemical was overly toxic; more tocix than they had prepared for, and they paniced. Mayham rained down on this experiment as fast as bits get switched every day. Two guys came running down the stairs telling everyone to evacuate. We heard a crash; one of the scientists abandoned the chemical and it spilled all over their workstation. Red alerts and alarms went off, people were screaming left and right … I was scared.

After everyone got out, some guys in protective suits went in and reported there was no danger, and that if the chemical had given off toxic fumes before, it had stopped doing it now. The scientists figured out there had never been a problem, that someone (thank goodness they didn’t find out who) had just messed up a few gates, after a few tests they did. There was about an hour left in the work day, so we were all just allowed to go home early while the scientists rebuild the experiment for tomorrow.

I think I’ll call in sick tomorrow.

There have been rampent rumors of Project Cubase since there was a leak in early 2006. As director of the project, I have decided to finally go public on a few of the details, or order to clear up misconceptions the public may have on the purpose of this project. Let us begin with the Rickhtor Machine.

The Rickhtor Machine (invented and patented by Seth Rickhtor) is a simple computer program that has three two variable and an output. The first variable, know as D, is any positive two digit integer, which represents the number of dimensions passed. The second variable (usually referred to as M, for “matter”) can be passed in several different ways. The beauty of the Rickhtor Machine (RM) is its flexibility in coorinating data passed by M with the number provided in D. M can be passed as an physical object, the passage of time, a scent or sound, and even things more abstract, like a package of data depicting complex non-real structures.

The output of the RM can also be expressed in more than one way, but the most accurate representation we’ve found has been in sound. The higher the coordination M has with D, the truer the sound, or harmonic ressonance, that is produced by RM. For example, if a three-dimensional object is passed as M, and “3″ is entered as D, a perfect harmonic ressonance is produced.

While experimenting with the RM, we came accross a data packet we had used in a previous experiment in the 80’s to create a more challenging version of the rubix cube. Unfortunately, the only shape we could come up with that would be satifyingly challanging was unreal, and could not actually be made. This left the object in the form of a data packet with undefined bounds. When we entered this packet as M, and started with “3″ as D, we got very strange results. Usually entering non real objects and shapes as M when D is 3 produces a flatline hum or static. The data packet in this case produced a high-pitched buzzing noise that fluctuated in pitch.

Naturally, we were intrigued by this irregularity. The data packet had always been something of a mystery to us (as it was unfinished), so we breifly revived LTRP #6929 (the 80’s project). After a few slight modifications and refinements to the packet, we tried entering it into the RM again, multiple times. Each time we entered the packet in for M, we used a sequentially higher number for D. I must admit, I was hoping for the result we got, but I did not expect it. Each D got us closer to harmonic ressonance as we approached what we finally realized was the dimension our data packet existed in: 22.

Immediately we formed a new Long-Term Research Project and hailed it as “the basis for cubic and quantium exploration,” quoth Dr. Phillip Striver. That quote was shortened to the word “Cubase” which is now what the project is known by. The project itself it two-fold; one half of our scientists on the project try to actuallize the data packet of the cubase into a means of understanding in 3 dimension, in order to gain access to the 22nd dimension. The other half try to find other means into discovering the 22nd dimension, in order to view and use the Cubase as some sort of vehical of dimensinoal transport. At NO TIME was there any discussion of using the data from the project as a weapon, such a claim is preposterous, and not even possible with the knowledge we possess now.

This is the bulk of what I have been given permission to release, but I will say just a few more things about the purpose of Project Cubase. The Cubase MAY OR MAY NOT be able to be used to do any of the following things: travel distances at speeds previously thought impossible, instantanious travel, time-travel, interplanetary travel, interdimensional travel, perpetual energy, and highly-dense matter (more dense than black holes).

None of the above uses have been confirmed, and all are being tested. If you would like to donate or help out with Project Cubase, my email is saiontz@grunchbox.com.

I live in a pretty bad part of town; my parents do what they can, but this is the best neighborhood they could afford within the county. They don’t want to yank me out of school when I’m finally beginning to make friends again, and I’m grateful for that.

But … on my way home from school friday, I saw some guys standing around near the shake place on 11th. I thought they were just bullies from school, yelling things at me laughing, but when I looked at their faces, I saw something much more cold. These were no ordinary bullies, these were pros.

I didn’t know for sure it at the time, but I asked my dad when I got home if there were any gangs in our town. My dad used to be sort of a harder guy, he had some tough times in his youth, and since he grew up nearby I thought he would probably know.

“Dad, I saw some bad guys outside of the shake place on my way home from school today. They were holding knives and one of them looked like he had a couple teeth missing. I didn’t recognize them from junior high, do you think they were from the high school, or part of a gang? Are there a lot of gangs around here?”

My dad is usually a friendly, quiet type of person. He’ll speak his mind most of the time, no matter what he’s talking about, even if it’s embarassing or scary. After I asked him about the gangs he opened his eyes over wide and his mouth hung open slightly. He sat there in his chair for a long moment, then snapped back to reality and shook his head.

“There used to be. There were gang wars all the time. I was in one called ‘Red Stripes.’ We were the top of the town. I got this scar on my cheeck from a gang war we won agaisnt our biggest rivals my first year of high school. We were the top of the whole town, for two glorious years … then … the ‘Hibbens’ came.”

“The Hibbens?” I asked.

“No one knew who they were. They didn’t go to school, they didn’t have families. They didn’t even seem to live anywhere … I’m still not sure how they survive.

“It was small stuff at first. Our scout got into a nasty fight with one of their guys late after a party. He was in the hospital for a couple weeks. Then a couple of our guys got really drunk and decided to go hunt down the guys who messed up our scout. We didn’t hear from them the rest of the weekend, and they weren’t at school the next monday. The cops found two bodies with over a hundred stab wounds each in the river on Wednesday, no trace of the murderers. We knew then that we were all washed up.

“We had a short war over the next few weeks, but most of us were afraid to even face the Hibbens. They were all so … so … evil! They were demons with their knives, even when they were up against heat! I never heard about a single one of them going down, or even losing a fight. Eventually our leader struck up a truce with them, promised to dismantle our gang and convince the other gangs to do the same. The Hibbens didn’t want to be the top of the gangs; they wanted to be the only gang. After the Red Stripes went down I got out of gangs and went on to college, where I met your mother and started a new life. Ever since we moved back I’ve been looking for traces of the Hibbens, and have been relieved every time I couldn’t find one. Now that you tell me about these guys, I’m afraid my worst fear might finally be awakening.

“The Hibbens are the only gang left in Portsville, so they can fight and kill whoever they want. Complete power. I want you to stay away from them anytime you see them, you could’ve been killed today.”

My Dad stayed in his chair looking out the window for a few minutes, and I just stayed sitting in front of him. He was trapped inside himself and his past, or at least that’s what mom said. I don’t walk that way home from school anymore and I just hope that The Hibbens don’t do anything that makes my Dad want to move away, I like it here. Still, the thought of being attacked by Hibbens almost keeps me awake at night.

If there is anything in this world I can safely say I like more than unedited anime, it’s registering domain names. Hi, my name is Bowin Hamrid, and I’m what some crudely call a “Domain Squatter.” Such a term tarnishes what I, and many people like me do, how we serve the great public of the Internet. To date I own 243 registered domains, each of which I sell for anywhere from $550 to $15,000! Not all of these domains will sell; in fact, very few of them may ever spark interest in anyone but me.

However, if I’m very lucky, and an overly rich person stuck on owning one of my domains ever comes to me, I will be doing the world’s economy a favor! That’s right, I’m a modern Robin Hood! I take large amounts of money from those rich good-for-nothings, and then give the money back to the country it deserves to be in: Japan. Japan is dominating the market right now. The Yen’s value has stayed on top of the dollar’s value for almost 7 months now, and officials are predicting the Yen’s value to go even higher. Why fight progress? Japan makes the best animations in the world, and they have the best forum of government. They’re going to be the next major superpower in the world, so why waste hard earned money on an economy that has no chance of success?

That’s the name of the business, readers. Take from rich, American business-owners, and give to the good animators of Japan!